Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Secrets to a happy relationship

Truth: Happy relationships make long lasting relationships.

First and foremost, you will not have a long lasting relationship if you do not have chemistry. Chemistry is one of those things that is hard to explain, but you know it when you have it. When you have chemistry, things just click and make sense. You never think in the back of your mind that you can live with your significant other's problems or convince yourself that eventually they will see the light and change. If there is chemistry, you love them for EVERYTHING that they are. Trust me, even the smallest things will eat away at you overtime.

Now, I might as well go ahead and say that I am in no way a relationship expert. I've noticed over the course of my relationship that the following secrets have come naturally and are constant.

1. Laugh everyday.

For one reason or another, we always end up laughing our asses off. Sometimes we laugh so hard we end up in tears. If your sense of humors mesh well, you will never run out of things to laugh at. So, goof around and make each other laugh.

2. Make plans.

Make plans so that you have something to look forward to together. Don't just wait for fun things to come along. Introduce each other to something new. Share your favorite things and places with each other. We already have plans for laser tag, the pumpkin patch, carving pumpkins, Halloween, the Christmas tree farm, sledding, and driving around looking at Christmas lights. In the long term there are a dozen or so weekend trips that we would love to take.

3. Challenge each other and conquer.

Challenge your loved one to go outside their comfort zone. Introduce them to a new type of food or entice them to do something that they would never have done before. Most recently, my boyfriend enlisted me to bike the annual Moonlight Ramble in St. Louis. I was really nervous before the event because I had not ridden a bike in over 10 years. I wasn't sure if I could complete the 14 mile course and I did not want to disappoint him. We started off kind of rocky. He was getting a little agitated that I was going so slow, but he recognized that I was trying hard and switched into supportive mode. Needless to say the bike ride kicked my ass, but I was so happy we stuck it out and completed the full course together. We conquered the Moonlight Ramble and are ready to move on to our next challenge.

4. There is always time for cuddle time.

Take at least 5 minutes out of your day and cuddle up with each other. Some of your best time spent is in each others arms. You cannot get closer than being physically close. Take the time to unwind and relax with each other. My favorite is falling asleep tangled together and taking a few extra minutes to wake up with each other.

Finally, always be supportive, encourage each other to grow, expand each others horizons, and pick your fights. Don't be afraid to disagree. Just don't turn disagreements into full blown fights.

What are your secrets to a happy relationship?


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